Friday, August 12, 2011

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery

current craving: chilled mooncakes

Thursday, July 07, 2011


You said you would carry me. But as i struggled and learnt how to walk all over again, i look back and see you've never moved. 

What is a dream? Do i leave everything aside to catch the dream? Or is it the dream itself that i have to let go off? Am I worth the dream? 

Are you goin' to Scarborough Fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there, she once was a true love of mine.

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt (On the side of a hill in the deep forest green).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground).
Without no seams nor needlework (Blankets and bedclothes the child of the mountain).
Then she'll be a true love of mine (Sleeps unaware of the clarion call).

Tell her to find me an acre of land (On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (Washes the grave with silvery tears).
Between salt water and the sea strands (A soldier cleans and polishes a gun).
Then she'll be a true love of mine.

Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather (War bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (Generals order their soldiers to kill).
And gather it all in a bunch of heather (And to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten).
Then she'll be a true love of mine.

Are you going to Scarborough Fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there, she once was a true love of mine

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Crossroads are never easy. I have a feeling im up for a huge decision in my life. remain in lukewarm comfort zones, or move on to hot burning exciting life changing adventure route. My mind and heart says, move!

I was made a conquerer in christ.

Monday, March 21, 2011

When the body is tired, its time to rest

Sunday, March 06, 2011


Taking one day at a time. 

Rough, but i know that nothing beats living each day by god's grace and strength. 

Monday, January 31, 2011

Week 15 : post scoliosis operation

Went for a second large group gathering with uni mates :) Body is recovering well. Pain has largely reduced to sudden excruciating pains on the pelvic bone about 1-2 times each hour. Other times, i feel rather normal comparatively to weeks before.

Stamina is still weak. Push my body to go for 2 outings in a day, ended up with a massive hangover – like recuperation the next 2 days. Headache, weak muscles, body aches. Have to constantly remind myself that i need to be more patient. Be contented with one outing a day. Nothing more for now.

Still am not allowed to drive due to the sudden pains.

Been to tesco for grocery shopping. I can cover half the place, with careful plans on not repeating walking through the same aisle. After covering half the place, im limping back to the counter to pay and into the car. Still a good breakthrough :)

Last week of full day MC before i go back to work. Am excited to see how far more my body can go. Dont test, dont know.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Keep track

I have 3 weeks to recover fully. God help me. 

I dont know what to pray for or how to pray anymore. 

Let this test of faith be one of walking closer to God. 


Monday, January 24, 2011

Week 14 : post scoliosis operation

Healing always comes with pain. Pelvic wound is healing, i choose to think so because it has been hurting rather badly this week.

The pain, is as if there is a grass cutter running on the raw bone wound giving a sharp poking sensation and it travels down to my right knee. Both buttocks, lower back and upper part of thighs will feel numb when there is pain.

Its a rather funny feeling when i touch the numb areas. Like leg numbs after sitting cross legged for sometime before the pins and needles takes place. But in this case, it stays numb.

Wound is clean and sealed. No more liquidy discharge coming out from the wound. Upper back is starting to feel normal, with no discomfort everytime its touched. Middle and lower back still feels discomfort when touched. Not the normal pre surgery feeling yet. Pelvic wound on the other hand, when touched gently, i cant feel a thing. If cleaned with alcohol swap, i’ll jump from the sensation. Feels like someone hitting my knees, it auto reflects. Just like when the wound is cleaned with alcohol.

Thank god for the 2 extra weeks of MC. Still need to rest flat down every 2-3 hours to prevent overstraining.

Learning to accept that total recovery is going to take longer than 3 months. It could well takes months or years. I was initially prepared for only 3 months, expecting movements to be back to normal after 3 months. Looks like i need to adapt more and be more patient to recover fully. A spinal correction surgery is a way major surgery after that. I need to keep reminding myself that. It takes time.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Thank YOU

Hey… Just wanna thank you for the conversation. You made my day… :)

You made my day and weeks to come to. All the best to you old buddy.

Monday, January 17, 2011

The milk is half full

No sitting for more than 3 hours.
No excessive bending
No walking for more than 30 mins in a row
No walking at normal speed
No working for 8 hours straight

Any slight exertion leads to total rest for the next 2 days. Stamina is low but there's nothing i can do to improve it within this short time span.

What i want to do is not what i can do. Practical learning of all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.

Its a struggle to be as normal as possible in a world of normal people. I feel defeated.

Week 13 : post scoliosis operation

Doctor’s appointment was postponed by a week. Busy doctor with so many patients queuing up to see him.

X ray shows that the vertebrates has fused nicely with the screws and metals :) That’s good news.

On the other hand, slower recovery to the second wound. Wound and surrounding areas are still numb all the time.

MC got extended by 2 weeks followed by light duty for the next 3 months.

Posture is better compared to when i was first discharged. The x ray showed that my right shoulder muscles are much larger than my left sides. Doctor said its because before the operation, i used the right shoulder muscles more to make body less obvious of the bend. Need a lot of exercise to balance both shoulder muscles back again.

Going back to the doctors reminds me of the operation and the first follow up check. How i had to be wheeled in a wheelchair in and out of the hospital and clinic. Thank god for so much of recovery in a short span of 2 months!

God is good :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I am not afraid

No i am not afraid. I know that there is a better place waiting. No more worries of losing tempers, no more worries of taking care of a whole extended family. Just being surrounded by love all day through.

I will cope. And i will be strong. You have taught me well to carry on.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Monday, January 10, 2011

Week 12 : post scoliosis operation

Weddings and having the boyfriend around makes me happy :)

2 weddings in a row, one on saturday and one on sunday. Am glad that these 2 days were one of the bigger motivations for me to get well enough to attend :)

There still are many limitations to what i can do or what i cannot do.

Breakthrough of the week : wore comfy sandals with a slight platform at my heel. Had prawns for the first time after so long.

Limitations : sitting and standing for 4 hours in a row gives me sores and aches at my lower back and thighs.

Noticed that when i walk, my left shoulder is not aligned. Need to work more on my posture.

Am concern on physically being able to cope with work in January. its 2 more weeks to go and with a sitting/standing stamina of 4 hours, it will be a big challenge to work non stop for the whole day. Pray and have faith :)

Doctor check up this week :) excited to hear on the good news on recovery.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011


Today i learnt that as we grow older, our world will automatically include more and more circles in it. And our own circle may not or always will not take the centre stage.

When everyone is grumpy and upset, instead of hearing them out, it may be a good idea instead to hide and have a tortoise moment of my own.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Week 11 : post scoliosis operation

I did my first squat!!! Thank God for another breakthrough in recovering :)

Shifted upstairs with the help of my brother :) Do limit myself to the number of times i take the stairs to not overstrain the muscles

Getting well soon and going back to work soon :) Now that coloring work is done, i do miss coloring. Ask for more :)

Motivated to get well soon. Attending 2 weddings next week!

Back to work

Happy 2011! :) Im back to work from home for these 2 weeks. Doctors extended 2 weeks of MC because of slower healing on the pelvic bone. Sharp electrocuting pains a few times a day but im coping well with it :D

First task of the day, create some pareto charts :) Useful stuff for data analysis. At least it helps to create focus for the more important areas.

New Picture (1)

Tight schedules coming up my way. Office work, kindy work, teaching tuition for PMR, trying to keep on pace with reading whole of the bible this year and perhaps finding something i like to do in between all of these.

Its going to be a hectic and fun year. :)

Friday, December 31, 2010

I’m the best. Not

How can someone who doesnt know the ropes insist that his way is better?

How can someone who cannot even cook insist that this way of cleaning veges is wrong and impossible?

How can someone who knows it in the head to not judge says the very opposite of what is known?

The tongue is sharper than a two edged sword.