Wednesday, May 31, 2006

uni life

im here in sg long
staying in flora green, a condo opposite the uni
the uni is just a 8 stories building, totally different from tar college...howi miss the campus life there
my timetable is interesting
there is a morning slot and an afternoon slot for the students here, and my slot falls on the afternoon so my classes are mostly from 12 noon to 8 pm. its not that bad, considering on wed i only have one lecture from 6 to 8 pm
lessons so far has been ok.... the work load is more than tar college... most of the lecturers here do stick with the unit plan of teaching one chapter a week, so now in the second week, we are already at the 2nd chapter... loads to read up
social life here...
im joining sis chai hong's cg on monday nights...i find it interesting because it is more to application of what we already know from the bible... applying the head knowledge that we have into practical use...
its a different approach from what i've been taught since young, especially the challenge that she throws us at the end of every session... sis chai hong doesnt say what exactly we are suppose to do, but there is the challenge and we have the free hand i would say to carry out what we have in mind... its more of discipleship
life here is busy...
im the rep for marketing year1 semester1
many more things to learn
how to handle conflicts if it does appear
how to please people
how to manage my time properly with so many responsibilites
how to pass messages around accurately
one thing im sure
god put me through what i went through in my life
to teach me how to cope with life in the future
and what he is going to teach me here when im in uni
i will accept it with an open heart
im facing a different aspect of surrendering
its hard to be put in words
tapping in to how he feels
and i can feel the hurt and distress?
i hit right there at the spot where the dirt is
the same spot where he has been trying to ignore
until i brought it up right in his face
ouch
surrender
its one big huge word
brought back memories
that comes along with tears and brokenness
but i know that the reward is there waiting
whatever it may be
im learning and still learning
sometimes the hard way
that God has a plan for me
and i dont want to sway or walk away from the best plans that He has for me
but sometimes i still fail
sometimes i realise it
sometimes i have to think back and meditate on what i've did to realise that i've failed
im grateful that God is a GOd of second and third chances

Saturday, May 27, 2006

deja vu

its that same feeling again
contradictory
time to stand on my feet again
and i am going to
told him that
and now haha
im feeling weird
why?

hug beannie to sleep
haha
its so cute

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

trust

i realise i have a problem with trusting people
at least what people say and tell me
so many things that should sound so beautiful and loving
words that should give assurance
but yet
i find it so hard to trust and believe and take what the words means
why>
is it because of all the hipocracy happening around
or is it because of all the stories that i've heard people spreading around
or is it just because i've trusted something i thought would be what it suppose to be
but it just never turn out the way it is
and it left so much hurt and bitterness in me?
i want to trust
i dont want to doubt
is it just a form of self defense
a big layer of ignorance so that i wouldnt need to face the consequences?

Monday, May 15, 2006

as i sleep
i thank god for making the day come to an end
for all the disappointments to disappear in my dreams
praying that tomorrow everything will be better

a new day
a whole new beginning
the same sun, the same earth
but there is hope and joy in God


yesterday was...
down
i was rather disappointed
with people that i thought were the ones i could hold on to
people that i thought would be the ones to support me when everyone is against me
nope, i was wrong

learning really hard to forgive and accept people that i love
its not easy
i know no body is perfect
but what am i to do when i think that some actions are way overboard
confront?
but im suppose to respect as well
sensitive issue

but oh well
today is a whole new day
a new beginning
look up to God
hard but
ya, i realise that God is the only person i can go to to really cry my heart out
have been crying a lot lately
but ya, im comforted when i go to Him

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Updates about my life…

Exams ended!!! Thank God im still surviving… results will be out this coming Wednesday, I assume that to be the pass or fail list…the actual results? I might just have to wait for the college to send it to my house, that would take some another 2 weeks…

I went back to college last week from Monday evening till Sunday…. Ber cam ching with all my college mates….i am so going to miss all of them…

Monday :
Took the train back around 4+, met up with anna for dinner at the mamak…. Talked a lot….haha… me and anna and all interesting stories…. About our past, present and future….
I helped anna to pack..haha..she has got so many things…so many boxes… went to JR at night…. Talked a lot again…. [I want to you that I will wait]

Tuesday :
Had prayer meeting in JR early in the morning…. Last prayer meet for me… I wont be there anymore..we prayed for the Global Day of Prayer (4th June) and ya, the normal stuff…CF, CG, studies (loren, reg, dih haw still had papers),lecturers and any other prayer request… didn’t cook breakfast after that…too rushed..so we had western food from the stall…was nice also…

Wednesday :
I went to the national museum with anna!!! Spend the whole day there….haha… I think we went around 10 and came back at 3+…not bad…slept after that… and at night I ate at mali’s with Rebecca, Solomon and dih haw.
Went to Carrefour after that…. Coz solo had to buy stuff for camp Cameron…

Thursday :
Went to the zoo!!! Haha, its expensive…. 10 bucks per ticket…. Me, anna, dih haw and rowen. Loren was still having a paper then…. The zoo is so full with memories…. Everything looks smaller now…. I thought elephants and zebras and giraffes were a lot bigger when I was younger
Some animals looks so tired and lifeless…maybe they are nocturnal animals…haha, lazy bums, hiding under the shade, the trees…
Was so exhausted after that, went back to the hostel to sleep…
Had wake up calls from rowen and dih haw, I think they must be really hungry because 2 people woke me up and asked me out for dinner… had dinner at the mamak… haha…all guys and one girl..was rather intimidating…
Went out to jusco with Rebecca after that….teman her to buy shoes and a bottle

Friday :
Planning camp!!! Started at 8am and ended at 11pm…. Ate up a lot of brain juice…. But it was fun la…haha

Saturday :
Planning camp day 2…started at 8am and ended around 1? Went to JR to eat lunch with regina and then slept there… so tired
Made egg sandwich for the party at night..tasted “wickedly good” according to rowen… maybe its because he helped make it too..haha
Barbeque was good…steamboat was good too…so much food and there was even ice cream for desert…had one whole big cup…sweet and nice
Went to JR after that to do up the job description for pre u cg coordinator…and it started raining….. waited till 2 am and ended up sleeping there in regina’s room…=)

Sunday :
Woke up at 6… went back to hostel to bath and wash up, walked back to JR, ji aun came to pick me and dih haw to church. Went to Setapak Gospel Center… need some brethren exposure…=)
Service was something different, not that extremely brethren coz worship was lead by the youths and they had prayer instead of sermon...coz it was the first Sunday of the month
Said my last words to many people…haha..last day I will be around
Checked out from hostel on that day,. Anna helped me a lot..haha…last dinner with anna, loren, dih haw, Alvin
Went back home

Ending of my college life…interesting chapter of my life…learned a lot, experienced a lot, went through a lot, make many new close and dear friends that I will always cherish… stepped closer to God in many different ways, served God in many interesting and new ways too… I had fun, and im glad and thankful to God for putting me in TAR college, haha, although it took me 2 whole long weeks to get use to the idea at first… but no regrets…=)
All night prayer meet…
Was good
Interesting
Had me thinking a lot
Especially the missions and meeting with jesus stations
Closeness with God