emotions can be really misleading also huh..

its not my life
i have no right to interfere
no right to demand
i failed
i know
am feeling it badly now
i apologize
i'll leave you alone
i wont demand anymore

sometimes its back to the matter of trust
trusting even when
feeling insecure
trusting even when
there's no response
trusting even when
its not what it seems to be anymore

i've fallen
i've taken a step forward
to pull back
would mean sorrows?
heartaches?

my stands?
my choice?
its my life isnt it?

but then
i know i have to follow
that's a choice also huh?

does that mean i get to
choose what i want to do?

i choose you
but its subject to conditions too huh
if others dont
do i still do?

i dont know
pleasing all is so hard to do
please all
end up not pleasing self

do i live for myself?
then where does he come in?
never?
can not
i dont want..

the meaning of
love
is?
i know
yet i dont know
geesh
im so lost..

values
things i used to hold on to
suddenly lost them

trapped
in my own emotions

honour and obey
what is wrong with me?

the more is disclosed
the more is revealed
the more i see
the weaknesses in me

how am i suppose to compliment you
its so much of you fitting in to me
i feel like i've done nothing
and still am doing nothing, nothing at all

i dont know what to do
dont know where to start
dont know how to understand you
dont know what you need

im so full of ignorance
and arrogance
suddenly i feel lost
i feel like i dont know myself anymore

two worlds
is that how it will always be?
none bothers to step over

comfort zone
thats where each belongs

awkwardness

do i try?
i dont know
its such a big step
i guess im just afraid
to be looked down

what if im ignored?
like how i already am
im afraid

feeling grumpy
real grumpy

danced the whole night through
under the candlelight
smiles

box
diamond
twirl
the whole night through

priorities
jamming my head
doing many things
other things seem to be more important
or should i say
more interesting
catches my attention more
all
except
for one

the distance
sweet
and
simple
and nice
keep it that way

the feeling
of walking past
my life
as i see it unfold in front of me
brings a sudden
heaviness
all that i went through
places where it happened
i sob
tears flow
in my heart
dont ask why
i cant explain

expectation
from me
but i am only human
and it wasnt even
my fault
ok
fine
i know i shouldnt point fingers
demanding
im not paid
its just out of obligation..
ah..
i need to really learn
humbleness
i guess
its just
something i have to face in this
rigid world
but thats when
god's goodness
is show
huh?
tears
its just like
i didnt do it
but im taking the blame
and it
hurts
somehow
somewhere

slumberness
reluctance
ignorance
dependence

its so easy huh
i could have just said
its not on my own strength
but on the strength that comes from God
but instead
i chose to keep quiet

teary eyes
puffy eyes
red nose
sob

its a yes
no more hanging around la

many things
we have a choice to look ahead or not
life
is actually the same for all
live
and then
die
doesnt matter
how rich
how poor
how young
how old
which race
what family background
knowing so
what are we going to do?

it takes things to happen
to know the importance of certain things
or person
or values

the feeling of knowing
its all under control
is something so reassuring
let it be
surrender it unto God
to let things happen in His time
in His will
many times
i wonder
or we wonder
what will happen
how do you know
how can you be sure
but i guess
god speaks
i pray
he speaks to both
not only one
in his own sweet time
i guess
that is the most beautiful thing that can happen
in a relationship
to let god be in the middle of all that happens

yes and no
i guess there is no in between
its either its yes
or no
no other meaning