its an irony.

the more doesnt know how to appreciate what they have. if they dont realise that they are being blessed with having more.

many times, the more dont know the agony of those having less. and the more just gives away what they have without thinking twice. without thinking of the consequences, without thinking about what others want but lack.

perhaps that is the main essence of what the bible meant when it said woe to the rich, the happy.

we need education that comprises not only what the scholars dictate but rather, education that comes with application and maturing of the mind.

but is that really happening in this society?

my heart aches for the shallowness of beings especially those who are unable to grasp the heart knowledge of what is taught and meant to be learned.

zoom zoom zoom zap zap zap

get in

feel all proud and in their own world for the first few months

and after that, to dig deeper and find out that it is only surface based

when problems and difference appear, there is no foundation to rely back on

what becomes of them then? disappear into thin air like how it started from thin air? or just keep throwing all question marks under the carpet where it is like a black hole but with a limit.

and when it reaches the limit, poof! there goes.

which girl doesnt feel all giddy getting wooed by a guy?
and which guy doesnt feel all cloud nine woo-ing a girl?

feelings links to the big picture of emotional engagement
but if decisions are based solely on emotions, it becomes irrational

being overly concern

only to realise that there is nothing that i can do as much as i want to help

but in the midst of all, i am reminded that god can do the impossible

its a matter if how much we want to let god do the work

the crossroads between yes and no, to leave or not to leave
the suspense that lingers with it, be it excitement or dread
the suffering of left hanging, with no certain answer to indicate yes or no
the pain of waiting, just to hear a confirmation

add it all up

if the expected answer is yes, maybe the wait is not that painful
but if the expected answer denotes a negative, the wait is enough to kill

but then again, waiting is never easy. always easier said than done. it takes a go through-er to fully understand the emotions of going through them

climbing on to strive for what is expected.

with the difference of being sidelined to learn from those who are in the straight forward process of learning

discrimination to a certain extend but i guess its a test of determination towards wanting to learn and to excel

thoughts on long distance

i remember the times before we went long distance when i would stick to him like uhu glue. wanting to be with him at all times, as much as i could. to the extend of taking the public transport for 5 hours back and flow just to have that 2 hours together

i remember doing all the silly things back before long distance so that i have something to treasure and to always remember when he was going to be so far away.

i remember appreciating all the minutes and seconds we had together because i knew that it would be hard to come by when we went long distance

when long distance actually started,

the first few days was tough. all the we ever thought and imagined and joked about, came true. the challenges, the attention that we needed from each other but we were far away, even the wanting to hold hands. it was tough

but now as we enter into the 4th month of being far away, we're adapting pretty ok. there's the phone and the internet. people say that all the time. but going through the process personally, its hard to say that there is always the phone and the internet, nothing beats personalized face to face interaction. but when the first choice is not available, the second or the third choice is well appreciated.

the days when we meet each time each month, becomes so precious. cut down on sleeping just to have a few extra minutes or hours with each other. these days are much anticipated and counted down each month.

the wish would always be, time pass faster till we meet, and when we do meet, pass slower so that we will have enough time with each other. but then again, nothing is ever enough, especially when there is so much to share and to catch up with. and it has to be crammed up in those few hours we have together.

looking back at my past postings, i noticed i was so much more descriptive back then. but now when i write, somehow, the actual incident that happened is narrated silently behind the words that i choose to fit in or portray.

something to do with growing up and learning to filter what is shown to the rest and what is kept to self?

beams. im proud of him.

people wont know the importance of having little and appreciating little and living all out for that little bit

if they dont understand what is little in the first place

last minute feelings of to go or not to go

random :

someone people can just be so self centered till its scary. everyone has to give in. but they dont get a least respect in return.

humans live for unevitable truth which is to die

the most important thing is how have we used this one life that was given to us? did we make it count? did we shine as what jesus asked us to?

to Gideon's family,

May God's peace be with you.

cuteness overflowing

rolling around like shinchan?

he was rubbing the palm of his feet against her jeans

looking at her with his best put on puppy eyes

he asked her

"what do you say if we go on a testing period of 1 month?"

he knew he was looking for someone to fill in her place, and he knew she was looking for the same thing too.

he knew too that he had the charms to make any girl fall. he had the looks, he had the mannerism. he had what it takes. he knew how to get through a girl's heart. he had it all. and he knew how to use all of these to his advantage

look straight ahead
dont lose focus on the ending point

made in sets? or in groups?

when a person that i've been praying for, for that person to understand a concept or to apply a knowledge,

come to realise the in depth knowledge and application of WHAT i have been praying for, it is a pure joy.

just like this time, i say to myself, maybe it was not in vain.

i thank god.

headless chicken running around.

staying quiet. feel. this shouldnt be the way. feel. leaders should know what to do and do it. feel. like headless chicken running around.

No other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
—1 Corinthians 3:11

in situations where christ is the foundation, no matter how the winds blow and the earth shakes, the foundation stays.

was approached to start a band for CZone under Ecclesia. im interested. but at the same time am aware of what i am putting myself into. its going to be interesting. with people from different nations playing music together. yet,i was reminded by mommy that i am in my final year and there are a lot of commitments already without having to take up extra stuff along the way.

i remember the days when i could proudly say i am a part time student and a full time god server. the times when because i didnt know where to do and what to go to serve god. i told god, whatever comes my way, if ic an do it, i want to do it for God. thats how i got involved in Christmas night, in serving in Kajang church. have i grown? by the tons!

seniors from uni were telling me about how they felt desperate when they realised they were graduating soon, and there is so little time left for them to do something for Christ. I'm glad for that desperation. thats when we want God. and thats good.

back to serving. its about passion and commitment.

"what do you think of a 1 to 2 months backpacking trip to europe? you rough it out, plan your own journey. take it as a reward or a compensation for not going overseas to study."

im still in an elated state. i love my daddy!!!

for the times you stood by me
for the times you lend your shoulders
for the time you sacrificed to be with me
for the long distance travels just to have a date
for the love and care
for the laughter
for the times you stayed up to fill in for my lack of creativity
for the ideas you had
for the prayers together
for the prayers for me
for the plans of having a future together.

happy 18th =)