he proposed.

but he said, no rush to give an answer.

i'm flabbergasted!!

i thank god for people around me who remind me that i am loved.

zooming around .

dont even have time for myself.

what more for you?

straying far.

reasons listed as.

broken promises

guilt

and feeling undeserving.

of all, i should have known and expected.

but now as of today.

im lost.

and frustrated.

a busy day with stuff to do is much better than a free day with nothing to do

wanting to help.

thought i did try.

but when the end result is still the same.

i have to keep telling myself to not let go.

the idea of. wanting. and waiting. is unlimited.

after we get something. we want something else.

the downfall of man

dreamt about you. the slim tall lanky person i once knew years back
you were. wanting to come back to me.
you said. you changed. for real this time.
i was still skeptical
but you insisted on giving you a chance to prove yourself.

woke up.

knowing that one waits and hopes
while the other flies off and never returns

ouch

i imagine

company, laughters, jokes

but reality

shows grievance

and i start to think. why do we even love?

what would it be like if one day. there's no you?

will i be lost?
will i miss the voice that i've become so familiarly accustomed to tune in to?
will i sob and cry with no shoulders or chest to lean and wet with my tears?

its at the point when i think i've nailed it that i realise im actually miles away from the destination