mr locks. mr locks.

why is it so that every time you appear in my dreams.

i get so confused?

im excited.

jumps around

jumps around again

jumps around again

oh dear.

im so excited

there is a time in life when people just give up. no matter it is about people they love or care about. but somehow, patience has it limits. 

just like how pick up lines works. its a matter of selecting the right time with the right sentence but most importantly, crossing fingers tightly to secretly hope that the girl will fall for the lines. but rather, its a matter of how selective is the randomness applied until it is workable. 

i remember when i was young. i used to hope and wish that things would get better. there was one particular square exercise book where i wrote all my wishes, thinking that after writing them down, things would get better. i remember every time the situation was back to square one, i would dig out that well hidden square boxed exercise book from the book shelf, read through all the previous wishes i had written, and with tears dripping down, i would add on another wish. still hoping that my wishes would come true. 

dont quite remember until when, after many years of reading and writing in my secret wishing book, i suddenly had the revelation that it was not going to happen. and i shouldnt have wasted the tears on them. because it was never going to happen. 

just like today. another reminder that the content in those wish list. was just the fantasy of a small girl who thought that a simple wish could change the whole scenario around. 

oh. i forget. you main aim to pretend that i never existed.

stupid enough of me to think that you will be surprised in a nice manner.

obsession.

landing. landed. 

but still am lost. 

focus point : people. work

intended : god

23 months and 11 days. =)

he. popped up. at my place. from no where.

BIG HUGE SURPRISE for me.

considering his busy work schedule.

had great amount of face to face talks. his company. the jokes and laughter. the tears. the support. the food.

im liking my new hair style. he cut my fringe for me too. =)

its funny how. when i decide to stand up. get away from the negative

and then

splat. something else falls on me.

oh dear.

i need strength.

note to self - dont give up. dont give up.

retreating back into the shell

maybe its just another quiet day.

a moving trend of. weight gainers.

assimilates into a common laugh about topic.

age is catching up i see.

=P

different smells. different emotions. different heartbeats. each play an important role in the upbringing.

today is a recollection day.

time to pick up my boots.
kick the negative thoughts away.

the first step is needed to.
be motivated.
stay positive.
and move on with life to the fullest.

i've learned that depression is a choice. not a destined path.

reminiscing the feelings. the upbringing.

life is short and very fragile.

seeing the struggles of growing up.

the change of circle of friends

having intentions to start dancing again

time to lose the flabs

far away from him

counting down to new year

typing away for tomorrow's supervisor meeting

miss my college peeps. =P