sometimes in life
its best to leave some options not explored

i will not run after you
i will not beg
i will not ask
i will not hold on

all i'll do is just
look at you walk away
with tears in my eyes
i'll take it in alone
all by myself
and silently wish you
all the best

when i read about her
it hit me real hard
tears felt like falling
but somehow it didnt
nothing was formed in my eyes
i felt bad
i felt like i have snatched the most precious candy from a poor kid
i felt like
betrayal is the word
im real sorry
really am
i trusted what he said
i did think about how you would feel
i just didnt know it hit you that badly at that time
im really sorry

something is wrong with me
when there are no tips
i dread studying
but when almost perfect tips are given
i dread studying too
how?

from PRINCESS classes
to PRINCE classes
*grins*
to shape ROMEO
to be the CHARMING PRINCE
*grins again*
from MANNERS
to ETTIQUETTE
covers all
*grins grins*
*big hug*

was just thinking
people that were in my life in college
who really motivated me to study
who were there to study with me
especially my inseperatable twin
the more i think about it
the more i really believe it is
God's intervention

now when im here in uni
its just so different
most people surrounding me
are somehow struggling with studies
some on the verge of giving up
i know i somehow lost the motivation to study
because
there is no one beside me to really back me up
all the time
to pressure me
but at the same time encourage me
and support me

but i thank god for the training..
to know how it feels like to have someone with me
guess its time
to stand on my own feet
this time
no more angels sent by God in human form to push me
but of course
its time
to learn to depend on God Himself

but still...
thanks regina..
=)

papers and memorizing

i dont know how to bermanja
all i know how to do
is to just put my head on your shoulder
and leave it to rest there
*huggles*

finals now..
sober-ness

im speechless
how can some people just be so selfish?
totally out of my mind
totally unexpected
hello
all humans have feelings
what is your freaking probleM?
im pissed..

fall
stumble
but it
strengthens
builds
draws closer

the foundation is laid
now the bricks are coming up
soon the roof will be put on
then the coat of paint
and deco and furnitures
then its complete...

i feel emotionally drained
no emotions
stone
dead

tears..
and more tears
till it floods
and then there comes the second round of flood

12th of APRIL
big big hug..
HUGGSSSs

ask and you will receive
seek and you will find
knock and the door will be open

i remember a pastor talking about how god wants what is good for us
and we should always ask god for what is good

so i asked for a child like faith
and now
its like this whole roller coaster going on in my life

my life is so happening la
always have something on the go

its always either im running all around
or stuff somehow happens around me
revolves around people i know
things i do
things i get myself involved into

i feel like i've been so selfish
always
its just all about me
me and
me
but then
i neglected people around
maybe i exaggerated
but
still
i feel
bad

child like faith?
is it the key?
as in the secret answer?

deja-vu-s are not nice feelings
its freaky
somehow i have the idea
that
the same thing happened
or is happening
AGAIN
because
the last time
it didnt manage to reach its goal
its freaky

sigh
sigh
sigh
sigh
sigh
sigh
i give up
totally
give up
no more la
the end

PISSED