Keep track

I have 3 weeks to recover fully. God help me. 

I dont know what to pray for or how to pray anymore. 

Let this test of faith be one of walking closer to God. 

Amen,

Week 14 : post scoliosis operation

Healing always comes with pain. Pelvic wound is healing, i choose to think so because it has been hurting rather badly this week.

The pain, is as if there is a grass cutter running on the raw bone wound giving a sharp poking sensation and it travels down to my right knee. Both buttocks, lower back and upper part of thighs will feel numb when there is pain.

Its a rather funny feeling when i touch the numb areas. Like leg numbs after sitting cross legged for sometime before the pins and needles takes place. But in this case, it stays numb.

Wound is clean and sealed. No more liquidy discharge coming out from the wound. Upper back is starting to feel normal, with no discomfort everytime its touched. Middle and lower back still feels discomfort when touched. Not the normal pre surgery feeling yet. Pelvic wound on the other hand, when touched gently, i cant feel a thing. If cleaned with alcohol swap, i’ll jump from the sensation. Feels like someone hitting my knees, it auto reflects. Just like when the wound is cleaned with alcohol.

Thank god for the 2 extra weeks of MC. Still need to rest flat down every 2-3 hours to prevent overstraining.

Learning to accept that total recovery is going to take longer than 3 months. It could well takes months or years. I was initially prepared for only 3 months, expecting movements to be back to normal after 3 months. Looks like i need to adapt more and be more patient to recover fully. A spinal correction surgery is a way major surgery after that. I need to keep reminding myself that. It takes time.

Thank YOU

Hey… Just wanna thank you for the conversation. You made my day… :)

You made my day and weeks to come to. All the best to you old buddy.

The milk is half full

No sitting for more than 3 hours.

No excessive bending

No walking for more than 30 mins in a row

No walking at normal speed

No working for 8 hours straight

Any slight exertion leads to total rest for the next 2 days. Stamina is low but there's nothing i can do to improve it within this short time span.

What i want to do is not what i can do. Practical learning of all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.

Its a struggle to be as normal as possible in a world of normal people. I feel defeated.

Week 13 : post scoliosis operation

Doctor’s appointment was postponed by a week. Busy doctor with so many patients queuing up to see him.

X ray shows that the vertebrates has fused nicely with the screws and metals :) That’s good news.

On the other hand, slower recovery to the second wound. Wound and surrounding areas are still numb all the time.

MC got extended by 2 weeks followed by light duty for the next 3 months.

Posture is better compared to when i was first discharged. The x ray showed that my right shoulder muscles are much larger than my left sides. Doctor said its because before the operation, i used the right shoulder muscles more to make body less obvious of the bend. Need a lot of exercise to balance both shoulder muscles back again.

Going back to the doctors reminds me of the operation and the first follow up check. How i had to be wheeled in a wheelchair in and out of the hospital and clinic. Thank god for so much of recovery in a short span of 2 months!

God is good :)

I am not afraid

No i am not afraid. I know that there is a better place waiting. No more worries of losing tempers, no more worries of taking care of a whole extended family. Just being surrounded by love all day through.

I will cope. And i will be strong. You have taught me well to carry on.

You, you, you

photo from CartoonStock

Week 12 : post scoliosis operation

Weddings and having the boyfriend around makes me happy :)

2 weddings in a row, one on saturday and one on sunday. Am glad that these 2 days were one of the bigger motivations for me to get well enough to attend :)

There still are many limitations to what i can do or what i cannot do.

Breakthrough of the week : wore comfy sandals with a slight platform at my heel. Had prawns for the first time after so long.

Limitations : sitting and standing for 4 hours in a row gives me sores and aches at my lower back and thighs.

Noticed that when i walk, my left shoulder is not aligned. Need to work more on my posture.

Am concern on physically being able to cope with work in January. its 2 more weeks to go and with a sitting/standing stamina of 4 hours, it will be a big challenge to work non stop for the whole day. Pray and have faith :)

Doctor check up this week :) excited to hear on the good news on recovery.

Circles

Today i learnt that as we grow older, our world will automatically include more and more circles in it. And our own circle may not or always will not take the centre stage.

When everyone is grumpy and upset, instead of hearing them out, it may be a good idea instead to hide and have a tortoise moment of my own.

Week 11 : post scoliosis operation

I did my first squat!!! Thank God for another breakthrough in recovering :)

Shifted upstairs with the help of my brother :) Do limit myself to the number of times i take the stairs to not overstrain the muscles

Getting well soon and going back to work soon :) Now that coloring work is done, i do miss coloring. Ask for more :)

Motivated to get well soon. Attending 2 weddings next week!

Back to work

Happy 2011! :) Im back to work from home for these 2 weeks. Doctors extended 2 weeks of MC because of slower healing on the pelvic bone. Sharp electrocuting pains a few times a day but im coping well with it :D

First task of the day, create some pareto charts :) Useful stuff for data analysis. At least it helps to create focus for the more important areas.

Tight schedules coming up my way. Office work, kindy work, teaching tuition for PMR, trying to keep on pace with reading whole of the bible this year and perhaps finding something i like to do in between all of these.

Its going to be a hectic and fun year. :)

I’m the best. Not

How can someone who doesnt know the ropes insist that his way is better?

How can someone who cannot even cook insist that this way of cleaning veges is wrong and impossible?

How can someone who knows it in the head to not judge says the very opposite of what is known?

The tongue is sharper than a two edged sword.

Plateau

 

Photo taken from http://ahoy.tk-jk.net/macslog/TheTopTenRiversoftheWorld.html

Week 9 : post scoliosis operation

I can sit longer now :) to about 3 hours each time.

Been actively coloring and cutting pictures for the children in the kindergarten. Feels useful after doing nothing for 2 months

Went for my first dimsum after operation. :) and my second dimsum too :) Thank god for answering prayers. Was craving for fried sui gao, and was allowed to eat it during my second round of dimsum.

Tried doing a squat! and succeeded :)

Can bend down to take things now :) with a little aid of holding something so that i can balance my weight

Week 8 : Post scoliosis operation

Breakthrough in my limits! Thank god.

Started Saturday with a joy ride to church. Took a different route but it was filled with road bumps and affected the limit of my back. Was out of breath before we reached church.

Took a small break in church, and make the whole way back :) Thank god!

Rested and cooked lunch, managed to make another trip to Mydin in the neighbourhood to get some ingredients. My first trip to a supermarket :) Another breakthrough, thank god! It feels different having other people around me besides only my family or those in my house. Had a slight fear of people knocking into me.

Saturday night went out for dinner at Subang Parade :) Managed to walk from the carpark to the restaurant, carefully choosing the shortest route to minimize the distance. Managed to sit throughout dinner and walk back to car in carpark :)

Happy to eat out and have my favourite salmon sushi finally. :) 8 weeks back i was at the exact same place eating and able to sit and walk normally. So much have changed in 8 weeks. Walking slower than normal still garnered so many people looking at me like im an invalid. No difference from renting a wheelchair from the mall and be wheeled around. Walking around aided compared to walking around normally, makes me feel really grateful for being able to walk around still. At least i still have the opportunity to walk and be alive. Thank god.

Went to church service finally!!! Had to bring a pillow to rest my back. It helps to cushion the pain :) Had lunch out too, dimsum for the first time :)

Walking speed in public is slow, very slow. Do not have the confidence to walk alone yet. have to hold on to someone else’s hand.

Week 8 passed rather quickly. Started holding colour pencils for the first time after a long time. first day of coloring was tough. Couldnt tell my hand’s strength and ended up with 3 blisters all around my right hand the next day. Thank god for constant improvement of strength and coloring as days went pass. :)

Went for round 2 of sakae sushi too :) This time was on Wednesday, the speed of walking got faster. However, could have walked too much the same day, lower back and pelvic area was sore before we reached home

The numbness along the pelvic bone has gradually reduce, now i can feel touch slowly along the wound.

Wound resistance to touch has improved too. Can now use bathing soap to rub over back’s wound lightly.

Tortoise moment

I cant run, so i hide under the shell

I cant shout back, so i stay silent

I cant go up, so i keep myself occupied

Warning : Daily tortoise moments increases chances of social learning and causes mental diseases.

Week 7 : post scoliosis operation

I can climb the stairs at home to go upstairs!! The look of everyone upstairs when they saw me half way up the stairs was priceless!

Watched a clip on dance. started off being very excited thinking i can do these steps too. halfway through the clip, suddenly i remembered that i wont be able to do more than half of the steps anymore in my life. my heart sank.

Went out to church for another joy ride :) Managed to make it to church and back non stop sitting in the rear passenger seat.

Wanted to go to church for service but couldnt make it, legs were aching from the ride the day before.

Of coloring and cutting

:) Been busy coloring pictures that starts with all alphabets and cutting them out with their labels.

Good physiotherapy for my fingers to recover their original strength, and also a good time filler while i recuperate before going back to work

Thinking of how the kids will be using these pictures brings a smile to my face :) This is better than having chocolates to make me happy

Thank god for giving me the motivation to push through. There are days when i felt like taking my own sweet time, days when i took a total rest from coloring and cutting pictures out.

Today was a miracle :) Had about 12 more pieces of pictures to cut and 6 more pieces to color and cut. My prayer this morning was to have strength to cut as many a possible, if possible i want to finish all of them today. Prayer of faith, knowing my back’s tolerance to sitting on the chair.

Its now lunch time, and i have 6 pieces left to color and cut, then this task is completed :) im excited to push through for the rest of the day. Can start on a different task tomorrow :)

Week 6 : post scoliosis operation

Decided why not keep a few blog post for what i’ve been through the past one and a half months :) For remembrance and also to encourage others with same spinal bend as me.

Good news is, i went out for my first dinner! Had KFC within the neighborhood. Zinger burger tasted like freedom!

Went out for a joy ride to church! The journey to and fro is about 1 hour. Managed to sit on the rear passenger seat without standing for a whole hour! Was rather skeptical on how my body will react to the uneven Malaysian roads, but thank God all went well :) Left hand was rather sore because i was holding on to the bottom of the seat too tight :p

Follow the rain

I choose to follow the current of the river. It goes by one direction. Rowing the boat upstream is a tough job.

And its now quiet.

Avoid this topic, but it came up on its own. I didnt go anything this time.

God, have your way.