silent and emotionless
just get used to it will you?

i want to run away
to a far secluded place
where no one can find me
a place with trees that has dried up branches
a place where no one sees me
a place where i can call my own world
a place where i dont have to bother about my surroundings

thank you =)
big smile
thank you=)
to you and you

bleh
bleh
bleh
bleh

deep thoughts :
to learn to smile and be nice
when inside its going "rar"
because it could have avoid ruining someone else's day

overflowing with love and sweetness

i tried
but still i dislike
i put in effort
but still i dont understand
i tried to smile
but still i get irritated
i tried to help
but how when im also lost
i tried my best
but still i fail
valid reasons to give up?

im fed up
enough of nonsense
is enough of nonsense

planning
thats the word
to learn to live a fulfilling life
many things take planning into account
even eating
especially
when having mixed rice
how to know how to estimate
how much rice to eat
alongside how much dishes to scoop together?
without planning
the dishes might finish faster than the rice
the consequence
having to eat plain white rice
but on the other hand
if the rice finishes first
then there will be the dishes left
which can be good or bad
good if its tasty and nice
bad is when the taste is choking

some may argue
eating comes naturally
many things comes naturally too
but sometimes
will a little extra planning
it can go very far

thought of the day:

routine stuff is where it really shows whats deep inside
for example
the routine problems that we face in life
it shows the reaction, the solutions we take
and through routine stuff is where god is able to show his power
its true that we do get the highs from experiencing something extraordinary
but then
how long will that oomp last?
not long
because humans forget the awesomeness after a while
and then its back to nothing
but then
if its something that we have to experience and go through daily
then only it will stay put in the long term memory
because at that time it has already formed a part of us

thought of the day:

god gave love
love that surpasses all understanding
love that renews us
love that heals
love that brings hope

but sadly
this love is slowly forgotten
not only in the world
but also in the church

love that has been replaced by outer beauty
by money
by corporate status

love that no longer accepts
love that no longer forgives

is that even called love?
no longer

if looks are all
then what is left for those who dont have it?
if dressing is all
then what about those who cannot afford it?
if impressions are all
then what about those whose inner beauty are hidden?

rejected
left out
left alone

what happened to love that
loves still when all is going wrong
what happened to love that
forgives and forgets
what happened to love that
accepts someone for his/her wrong doing

this kind of love that god put in my heart
is the kind of love that i want to treasure and keep
this love cannot be taken for granted
like how god's love cannot be taken for granted

if god is the one who has taught me to love
if god is the one who put love in my life
if god is the one who loves me more than anything else
i will continue to love those people god put in my life
no matter how tough it gets

fading away
slipping past
overlooked
feeling the tension
knowing the gap
seeing the distance

desire
missing
wanting
longing
fulfillment
achievement
dreams
recognition

humbleness
meek
bowing down
giving in
give away
others
compromising
fitting in

updates of my life

no longer course rep
starting week 6 of second year first semester
playing around
travelling to kl pretty often
sight seeing
got back from indon
studying hard (or so i choose to think)
involved in cf and church
doing tutorials
mamaking
missing people
meeting up with college friends
pasar malam
big huge pimple on nose
disliking computer subject
going to library
storybooks
reading
sleeping
washing clothes
walking around
eating
i love my life
=)

heavy eyes
mind slipping away
eye lids sealing up
mind not focusing
thinking about
pillows
and bolster
and beannie
and blanket
and dreams away...