i like you

i like you
three little small words
that carries so much responsibility with it

im stuck in it
dwelling in the voice that said it
touched and feel fuzzy all over

but yet,
its not time yet
not for my anyway

[time will tell and show that im serious]

finished my exams already!!! feeling relieved now....bumming around, my last few days in college, hard to imagine time flies, i remembered when i first came in, i didnt know anyone, walked alone to class and back from the hostel...
had this weird imagination of how the road that leads to tbr from hostel looks like
first few weeks was bad
i was lost
slowly i got to know the people from cf
especially through camp
now im leaving
sigh
so fast
whole new world out there
waiting for me to seek

im frustrated now? not sure
stuck in between
emotions raging
keeping it low

dih haw's cooking dinner today!!! haha, wonder whats the menu, so semangat la, called everyone to ask what we wanted to eat
i'll be going back home this sat i think..not sure yet
when i want to go la

phew!!!

2 papers down....one more to go....

college life was where i thought i could run away from all troubles and messy thinking that feelings and relationships could bring... i brought along this innocent, naive way of thinking as i entered this college and mixed with people that im hanging out with.... i didnt want to think of any more relationships or feelings or anyone else....its not the time yet...i know i have to wait patiently
i brought along the hurt and pain too, with the hope that time and distance will nurse this broken heart... true enough, here in college, i found GOD again, different from back home because the feeling i have now is so child like, no worries, just placing all my hopes and plans for the future to HIm...
and now...its like digging back the memories.... i dont blame him for asking me and bring out the memories that i had, nothing to do with him...sometimes i kind of pity him also... why ask me, poor thing, im such a cold blooded, no feelings girl...at least for now, i've got no plans to open up...
its not easy to get me to open up....im so hard inside..
what am i to do? its like bringing back the feelings? i dont want to feel anything... its detrimental... will i fall for him? i dont know...maybe if i've known him for a longer time... but one thing for sure is that even if i do one day, my feelings will be kept in me..... nah, dont think that will actually happen.... too hard...

hard to find out what i actually am...
introvert or extrovert?
i am easily influenced but yet at the same time, i hold so strongly to my stands....quite stubborn sometimes
noisy and quiet?
think a lot and yet say the stupidest stuff because i dont think enough?
weird
haha

i need to sleep...
have been sleeping for about 3 hours a day since last week
exams are killing me
the paper just now, social psychology was bad
am not going to think about the results...
everything that i get, i iwll take it as a blessing from God

went to loren's church yesterday. city harvest church
they are loud..haha...it was cool, really cool, the approach, was so youthful
and their pastor is only 30? thats so young
most of the people there are around 20... really young batch of people
i found them really friendly though.... felt quite welcomed there
then after church yesterday, i went to jr to study
whiskers pooed on the floor..... terrible girl... but she can recognise her name now..hha...
one super duper cute, innocent looking kitten that i am so going to miss when i leave

I fainted on Sunday.. it was rather freaky… dad wanted someone’s number, so I went into my room and took my phone from the table, as I walked out, suddenly everything blacked out… I got scared, dad had to somehow support me to the sofa in his room…
I was really scared, and I told him to pray…

Went back to college on Monday, had a ride from the station back to hostel from rowen..haha, thanks…save the trouble walking… actually I was quite afraid that I would somehow faint again

There is this fear in me. I shared with a couple of people during Tuesday’s prayer meet
To whoever who is reading this now, do say a prayer for me k?

I went and see uncle wu just now…he checked my blood pressure and heart pace… my blood pressure is low, around 90..the average blood pressure is around 110, my heart beat is at 90+, the average is 70-75…
According to him, its some compensation effect, because there is not enough blood, my heart has to pump faster to increase the pressure, its abnormal but its rather common in ladies…

Im going for a blood test tomorrow morning , just to double check and confirm that there is nothing wrong

It could be a spiritual warfare..im not sure, do pray for healing and protection…

Or maybe it’s a sign… that my time is almost up? Im not sure…
Do pray alongside with me k?
Thanks, I really appreciate it
God bless