4 more days
buying what i need is the tidious one
going shopping for so many things
am planning to give the kids a treat
sweets
thats sugar in another form

7 days more
am really encouraged by all the support given by people from church
especially the impact-ers
go guys and girls..
thanks everyone for all your prayers
and for all those who has given financially
im sure God will bless you back even much more than what you've given

im excited
in the midst of preparation
of deciding what to bring
what not to bring

i tend to imagine what is going to happen there
how it will be when i arrive
what i will be doing

someone told me this today
dont expect too much from the environment
but expect something BIG from God
i can only add an amen to that!

people change
so fast
so much
from an environment that i was so familar with
to something that i find myself so lost with
no more similarities that will bring us together
different values we hold on to
different topics we talk about
different subjects excite us
so much can change
so much did change
probably
im the one who has changed so much
not everyone else
that's why
i dont feel like im in the group anymore
values that i have is just so different
no one is wrong
its just the environment that has changed us
but im thankful for once having all of you in my life
dont know whether will it ever be the same again
i doubt so
everyone has grown more mature
entering adulthood
entering the dating life
nah.. it will never be the same once more
but i still want to say thank you
for allowing me to be part of all of you
once in my life
everyone has to move on huh?
everyone has to change to improve...

13 days more
its really soon
in the midst of preparation
God is good..
money started coming in
praying by faith
that God will provide
although there is not much time left..
but God will provide

heading home tomorrow..
15 more days
counting down
since exams have ended
have to start packing
praying very hard for finances to come in
so far its still 0
going by faith
that God will provide
amen!

parting is always so hard
it brings along that heavy burden in the heart
where walking seems to be just dragging one's legs
eyes just dreams off to another place

15th of sept
dedicated to dear shawn yap swee kee
guess i kind of adopted the concept behind 'life is beautiful'
i really admire your attitude
and also your great faith
you've opened my eyes to see
how beautiful GOD and live can be
thanks
i will remember that
miss you

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (63%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness (33%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (53%) medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

trait snapshot:
messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic

Right Brain |||||||||||||| 58%
Left Brain |||||||||||| 42%

Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

defensive character
fond of shooting people
straight-forwarded-ness

its in me?

when something you have wanted
happens
and you know that it is the moment
how are you suppose to feel?
im feeling so now
exciting
somehow its that now-is-the-moment
kind of feeling
18 days more..
its soon..
and its getting more exciting as the days passes

i blogged once about what if the same thing happens more than once
am i suppose to ignore
or at least pay a little attention to it
geesh
now it happens again
its getting freaky
haha
totally not expected
how can 2 minds so far away
think of the same thing
and able to answer
at the exact time
how come it happened at that time?
not the next day
not after i finish writing
but right then when i just wrote about that particular thing
and i got my answer
out of no where
ta-da
its freaky...

the distance is getting further apart
im not even trying
and im giving up?

i wonder
would you remember?
i wish you would
but then
it probably doesnt matter to you
probably never did

thanking god for the 17 years he has protected me and been with me
thanking god for all the ups and downs in life
thanking god for bringing me through all the rough times in life
thanking god for putting so many wonderful people in my life to encourage me
thanking god for carrying me on His shoulder when i was down
thanking god for all the blessings he has blessed me with
thanking god for all the sweet memories in life
thanking god for all the angels in my life
thanking god for being there for me
thanking god for being my strength
thanking god for being my shelter
thanking god for being my help
thanking god for being my comfort
thanking god for just being there listening to all my grumblings and disappointments
thanking god for all the provision in life
thanking god for a wonderful family
thanking god for wonderful friends
thanking god for people that helped mould me to who i am today
thanking god for all the admonishing
thanking god for all the teaching
thanking god for all the people who cares for me
thanking god for blessing me with so much more than i deserve
thanking god for everything He has done for me these 17 years

time is running out
so many more things to cover..
oh dear
how ar?

21 days more
thats so soon
sooner than i expected
never did really count how many more days to go
im excited
very
will be counting down...

shawn's birthday is coming
sort of brought back memories about him
it has been some time since he left
many emotions
had since gone away

i am so in a mood of shooting people today
so all you out there
beware
mind what you do
or else
you will be shot

i suppose its true
that there are limits and boundaries in life
that determines how we should react towards certain people
some people are just acquaintances
some are friends
some are close friends
some are best friends
some are lovers
for each level
there is an invisible limit
and somehow
it is possible to go somewhere further
but to turn back
it will never work the way we want it to be
most of the time at least

is it just what i see
or is there something more to what i see
is it just me?
or is it really what i think it is?
confrontation?
or continue to live in ignorance?
where do i stand?
what rights do i have?
none
i shouldnt mess
i should just keep it to myself
shall not let the feeling creep in
shall try not to be disgusted
shall try to at least close 2 of my eyes..

geesh..
there is something so wrong with me
i feel so...
urgh...
ah...

tolerance?
how far can i?
how much am i willing to?
of all things
why this?
there for a purpose?

disturbed mind
looking for rest
from things of this earth
wanting to run away so badly from
the happenings in life
to run into His presence
that seems to be so far away
but yet
its so near
with all the miraculous happenings at home
everywhere around me
tells me that He is real
i just have to
open my eyes to see
open my ears to hear
and open my heart to feel

so many times
i've strayed
from the path
and i know it
with thoughts that are not what im suppose to be thinking about
with prayers besides those im suppose to pray for
i dont know
sometimes
temptations just gets in
so strongly
and yet
at the peak of it
the spirit speaks
amazingly
God never failed to keep me out of temptations
not once or twice
but so many more times than that
i was at the verge of falling
into something with consequences that i wouldnt have even thought about
but He stopped me
dont ask me how
i dont know how
it just happens

something i wanted to post since long ago
but never had the time to
so here it goes --->

i've tried half my life
to run away from certain things...
run as in tried to improve
to try my very best
to realise things on my own
to observe things on my own
to learn to see the consequences of certain actions
and i've really tried so hard to get out from that
certain part of my life
that i really couldnt bear
i kept telling myself
this is not what i want to see in my future
this is totally not what i want others to go through as well
and i think im almost there
i almost managed to creep out
slowly
somehow
but then
all of a sudden
the whole thing just comes back
SPLAT
right in my face
i do have a choice to say no
do i?
to just avoid myself getting caught in this whole thing again
do i have a choice?
or is it just something i will have to face
for the rest of my life?
how about the compensation theory?
one has to compensate for what is lacking in another?
is that why i always face this?
because i realised i wanted to get out?
and because of that i have to help others too?

its been a while since i last wrote
many things happened
mom went for operation already
thank god it went well..
her recovery is marvellously fast..
its only the second day and she is able to walk
im in the midst of exams
but somehow it seems not so important anymore
studies are just secondary?
maybe not even secondary...
sometimes i really think
god is so so good to me and my family
he blessed us with so much more than what we expect
to me at least