what does it mean when i get 3 messages with the same idea in 3 days?
the first one was the book 'passion and purity', somehow it brought back thoughts that i left somewhat closed some 4 years back...thats when the 4 year cycle thought came back to me, but i know and i already knew what i was suppose to do, to surrender and wait in God, and i was doing it...
then Cg last night, leon brought up the passage Mark 10:21..and it struck me again...
just now i went for JY, and the topic for bible study was Sacrifice... passage taken from Genesis 22:1-18, abraham and his willingness to put isaac on the alter..
what is God trying to tell me?
im sure that there is something ,,,,but what and how?
i've been wanting to go for missions for a really long time..since i was in form 1? but i never had the chance to, and i remembered when i left cambodia, i could feel the spirit of God so strongly upon my heart... hints?
its scary but yet exciting at the same time... i know im willing, really willing
what am i suppose to give up? i've already given up what is closest to my heart... i would say i've been through a lot in life to sort of know what i want to achieve in life... what are His plans? so interesting...everything is folding into place..
FAITH = SACRIFICE = BLESSINGS
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uncle lee (nick, jon and jeremy's grandpa) passed away today...i could still remember the time he came and shared during TW, i think it was valentine;s day, somehow i feel like i could relate to him,..haha..maybe im not that much younger than him...
it got me thinking, GOd has put me in situations where i had to face the death of people really close to me, and im not afraid of dying... praise God..=)
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Letting Go
Had CG in LEon's house last night...i was so tired..kept zoning out... oops, i tried my best to stay there..was rather quiet ...my mind wasnt thinking...but one thing really struck me... the bible study strayed somehow, like how bible study always does..haha... leon mentioned something like he said a prayer of God use his life when he was 21 and now he is turning 27..and he still doesnt know...erm...Keshia said the same prayer too
reminded me so much of myself, and what strucked me the most was mark 10 "one thing you lack, go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. THen come, follow me." i realised that whatever i've been through...its like a preparation for that day when i will follow him fully.... i've been questioning myself throughout the whole of last night, what is it that i hold on to dearly..i cant recall...i know the people i hold on to dearly, i've already surrendered them to God...
wow, His purpose is slowly being revealed? im kind of excited...
so it means that my stay in the hostel...haha, although i dreaded it at first... is it a training ground to teach me to release my parents and family to GOd? im really a manja kid at home, ask my brothers..haha...
what else is HE going to reveal? cool h uh?
i want to do so many things...and its what i want , not what He told me to...but to see everything i want to do fall in place according to what He wants....interesting...
COOL!!!!
reminded me so much of myself, and what strucked me the most was mark 10 "one thing you lack, go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. THen come, follow me." i realised that whatever i've been through...its like a preparation for that day when i will follow him fully.... i've been questioning myself throughout the whole of last night, what is it that i hold on to dearly..i cant recall...i know the people i hold on to dearly, i've already surrendered them to God...
wow, His purpose is slowly being revealed? im kind of excited...
so it means that my stay in the hostel...haha, although i dreaded it at first... is it a training ground to teach me to release my parents and family to GOd? im really a manja kid at home, ask my brothers..haha...
what else is HE going to reveal? cool h uh?
i want to do so many things...and its what i want , not what He told me to...but to see everything i want to do fall in place according to what He wants....interesting...
COOL!!!!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
21/22 vs P&P
Received this book from tim last sun, but left it in his car..haha…me and my blurness….anyway, got it last Saturday..was reading it…oh, its called “passion and purity” by Elisabeth elliot.
Interesting book…but, sigh, it got me thinking even more…
Wasn’t suppose to be so huh? I was flipping through my diaries of the past years, refresh my memory, and I realized this 4 year cycle thing… never realized that before…. And now maybe im still thinking whether should I let it start again? I want to, but no signs? I don’t know….
Wow, 4 years is a long time, and it actually comes back, interesting..haha
P&P talked a lot about waiting, wait and wait and wait…. And I have been waiting, for what I don’t know… I knew I was suppose to wait ever since I was old enough to understand… a principle I was suppose to hold on to…wait, and I do regret to say that I almost broke that principle. Imagine, I knew the path I was suppose to walk, thanks to god’s grace, and then I “purposely” went into the thorns thinking that that was a better way? And now when I finally manage to walk back on the same road, I don’t know how much I have missed out or how much I am going to miss out because I left the road…
Haha, now for 21/22
Started during planning camp, shawn, regina and joy were the pioneers I think… seriously saying I don’t know what prompt me to say 21 or 22..oh, its actually the age we want to get married... I’ve always wanted to get married, I mean I’ll be graduating from uni when im 20, work for 1 or 2 years, then get married… one of my dreams... was teased and laughed at of course… had regina saying that I should consider shawn, Rebecca said she has this suitable candidate..haha..
But somehow, there was something in me that said I should still wait…wait and wait…
I didn’t want to think about it… I know what im waiting for I think…? Im not sure and I don’t want to think about it yet, not time yet, wait… but the book p&p brought images of someone into my mind once again? 4 year cycle…
What am I suppose to do???
[I’ve always thought, is it possible to stay in your presence, lost in your love, be totally ignorant of the happenings of the world or the longing of the heart?]
Interesting book…but, sigh, it got me thinking even more…
Wasn’t suppose to be so huh? I was flipping through my diaries of the past years, refresh my memory, and I realized this 4 year cycle thing… never realized that before…. And now maybe im still thinking whether should I let it start again? I want to, but no signs? I don’t know….
Wow, 4 years is a long time, and it actually comes back, interesting..haha
P&P talked a lot about waiting, wait and wait and wait…. And I have been waiting, for what I don’t know… I knew I was suppose to wait ever since I was old enough to understand… a principle I was suppose to hold on to…wait, and I do regret to say that I almost broke that principle. Imagine, I knew the path I was suppose to walk, thanks to god’s grace, and then I “purposely” went into the thorns thinking that that was a better way? And now when I finally manage to walk back on the same road, I don’t know how much I have missed out or how much I am going to miss out because I left the road…
Haha, now for 21/22
Started during planning camp, shawn, regina and joy were the pioneers I think… seriously saying I don’t know what prompt me to say 21 or 22..oh, its actually the age we want to get married... I’ve always wanted to get married, I mean I’ll be graduating from uni when im 20, work for 1 or 2 years, then get married… one of my dreams... was teased and laughed at of course… had regina saying that I should consider shawn, Rebecca said she has this suitable candidate..haha..
But somehow, there was something in me that said I should still wait…wait and wait…
I didn’t want to think about it… I know what im waiting for I think…? Im not sure and I don’t want to think about it yet, not time yet, wait… but the book p&p brought images of someone into my mind once again? 4 year cycle…
What am I suppose to do???
[I’ve always thought, is it possible to stay in your presence, lost in your love, be totally ignorant of the happenings of the world or the longing of the heart?]
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
work..bleh
im in the office now...some company called imation malaysia sdn bhd...haha...really flexible working culture...maybe its my first day or perhaps its just because the boss is not here....haha
suppose to start work at 8.30, i was 5 minutes late because i was caught in the traffic jam..haha..rushed here, and then there was only one person here...then people started coming in only at 9, 9++? haha
to make things worst, the computer that i was suppose to use didnt work, so they spend some other time adjusting it, and i was sitting on the sofa reading today's papers..oops, wasnt suppose to huh?
after that, got what i was suppose to do, call up some 1000 over people to check for their updates, their latest address, contact number and IT manager if there is one,,,not really fun..its really routine and sigh...i do not like routine work,,,not at all....and today is only the first day, how ar? im suppose to finish all the 1000++ numbers to call....
lunch is from 12.30 to 2?dont know , its 1.45 now, and my colleagues are telling me to start calling again only at 2...
oh, im actually using the boss' laptop..dont ask why...but her name is stuck at one corner of the laptop..and oh well, there is internet connection, although im not allowed to download msn messenger, but having the mail is good enough, allowed to blog...=)
suppose to start work at 8.30, i was 5 minutes late because i was caught in the traffic jam..haha..rushed here, and then there was only one person here...then people started coming in only at 9, 9++? haha
to make things worst, the computer that i was suppose to use didnt work, so they spend some other time adjusting it, and i was sitting on the sofa reading today's papers..oops, wasnt suppose to huh?
after that, got what i was suppose to do, call up some 1000 over people to check for their updates, their latest address, contact number and IT manager if there is one,,,not really fun..its really routine and sigh...i do not like routine work,,,not at all....and today is only the first day, how ar? im suppose to finish all the 1000++ numbers to call....
lunch is from 12.30 to 2?dont know , its 1.45 now, and my colleagues are telling me to start calling again only at 2...
oh, im actually using the boss' laptop..dont ask why...but her name is stuck at one corner of the laptop..and oh well, there is internet connection, although im not allowed to download msn messenger, but having the mail is good enough, allowed to blog...=)
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