cut out and withered in the solemnness of white and dried twigs

waited in vain

thank you for always being there even when im at my worst moments
thank you for being able to sense when there is something wrong and talk to me about it
thank you for not giving up on me
thank you for being beside me when i have to face the consequences
thank you for encouraging me and supporting me when i mess up badly so often

i messed things up again
getting up is not easy
learning to say sorry for my mistakes

woke up smiling to a whole new day
woke up smiling to the gone headache
woke up smiling to god for a new day
it was all well
it was all well
until the sudden fainting spell

sudden palpitation
breakouts of cold sweat
ears feeling blocked
eyes seeing nothing else but orange stars with a black background
pale face
white lips
shaky legs
cold shivers down my spine
whole body from head to toe cold and lifeless

all so scary yet so familiar
so distance and foreign yet so homely

couldnt help thinking
what if my heart chooses to stop beating right at that moment?
i'll probably leave with a smile.
but people around my might get a shock

Romans 8:11-18 (New International Version)

11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.^[a] And by him we cry, "Abba,^[b] Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

day by day teaching to lead my every single step.
thank you for answering my prayers.

Mark 5:25-34

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"

"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, `Who touched me?'"

But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

that one touch was what i needed more than anything else.

and that same one touch was what i received today.

switch of focus

brain waves when collected and integrated into words
shows a dispelling outcome

positive and negative?
up to the decider

but the outcome is amplified when its put into words
much more compared to just flowing thoughts

seeing someone who woke up at the wrong side of the bed is scary

my order list

1. fu yu yao mak
2. waffle
3. loh mai kai
4. fried chicken from mamak (eaten)

thank you!

cooking spree..

here i come!!!!

*grins*

its over! its over!

*jumps around*

its over! its over!

dragging those reluctant feet back to work..

No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you, I'll always have you)

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind


(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you)

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do


Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

let me introduce you to Mr. Locks
Mr Locks is a dream friend who play the main guy role in a few of my dreams
he makes his appearance once in a while when i feel i need him to appear
and i saw him again last night
somehow Mr Locks knows how to pop up at the part of the dream where i remember them
and last night he was a rock star
i knew it was him because i saw him
but i didnt get to meet him personally because i was whisked away by some other people

it all ends next tuesday
press on

sleeping time management

looks like there is an improvement. i woke up earlier than usual today. but to do that. i had to sleep earlier than usual, much earlier than usual in fact. wholesome sleep time started from 430PM till 730AM this morning. no wonder im happy. =)

Luke 4

The Temptation of Jesus

1Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the desert, 2where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry.

3The devil said to him, "If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread."

4Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone.'^[a]"

5The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. 6And he said to him, "I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. 7So if you worship me, it will all be yours."

8Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.'^[b]"

9The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down from here. 10For it is written:
" 'He will command his angels concerning you
to guard you carefully;
11they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'^[c]"

12Jesus answered, "It says: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'^[d]"

13When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.

Luke 4: 1-13

i need to learn proper sleeping time management

things to do

1. much dreaded blood test. decided not to take test
   
2. confirm cf venue with dsa. inform joel and huimin
3. retail and distribution assignment
4. retail and distribution commentator's report
   
5. print international marketing commentator's report
6. product management. edit and add stuff.
7. marketing research in practice. type hard copy.
8. marketing research in practice. discuss case study.

the madness starts tomorrow again.

When you smile
My life becomes a ray of light
Sing me a lullaby
To sleep at midnight
I'll be hypotizes
When looked into your eyes
turn off the room light
Let's spend the night
Take me to far away
Away to your secret place
Take my tears my fears
Take all my pain
For which I'll repay someday
With a kiss and say
Can't believe that I'm in love
In love again
When the stars don't shine
And when the birds don't fly
And when the flowers cry
And when the rain runs dry
When the violet's red
And when the rose turn blue
Baby i'm still in love with you