didnt quite get to watch stars or lie on the grass

but dih came to bring me out for supper at 11 at night

if you consider walking under the moonlight holding hands romantic. then it was pretty much romantic.. =)



and i finished rushing up the assignment!! stayed up till 3 am in the morning.. this lifestyle is crazily unhealthy. so last minute! heart attack can happen anytime! claps hands to self and to God and to my group mates and to dih.. thank you ;)

when im done with all the madness today with my assignment
i feel like




lying down on the grass

green green grass







and watch the stars flicker in the night





















ah.. what a beautiful relaxing thought

but now i have to work my brain and my fingers off the keyboard and the computer first

knowing that other people can do what they are doing.
it does get me all. worked out.

its not that is wrong in anyway. no, its not wrong. its just that im not allowed to do so.
and i dont get the reasoning told to me. i suppose its for my own discovery. but what if i choose to walk away before i ever get the revelation.

you put me through this same situation for 10 years of my life. back then i didnt have the courage to say no or to back away like what my brothers are doing now. but im not so sure if i still have the same naiveness to follow orders like how i used to do.

rebelliousness is built and trained and taught in a subconscious manner. it is learned through circumstances. and many times the consequences is undesirable. i tried to bring it up to you. i raised my voice. it didnt work. i tried to talk through in a gentle manner. it didnt work. end up im the one feeling useless.

you asked me are you that scary? you want the relationship. you want the closeness but you are pushing the relationship away. you are the one building the wall. sometimes i see the soft side of you. but you intentionally dont want to show it. or thats how i picture and imagine it to be.

i am craving for fried food.. any kind..

learning to love stuff i dread doing
gah. wish me all the best.
haha.

no more sulking and pouting.
its a new day
its a new day
=)

sulk and pout all day long
what difference does it make when all you do is laugh at me?

im sick
its the fourth day of serious flu and the second day of slight fever
its also the first day of aching thighs and arms

we had our proper first date yesterday in a proper restaurant
not that it was planned
we both wanted to have tons of fishballs
so we ended up at shabu mix near dihhaw's place
sat at a 2 people table then only realised that its the first time out in a more fancy restaurant
its always either at home or coffeeshop or fastfood outlets
started off pretty much romantic
until the restaurant started using the conveyor belt that had food on it
looks like it was a date with the conveyor belt and the food on it for both of us

today is another jasmine is quiet day
bad sore throat
dont feel like talking
so excuse me ya

* quiet day indicates that jasmine is in her own world where her world is in another dimension. you see her but she doesnt see you

i've always thought of myself as a fighter
today im giving up
already did give up

when i say i dont dare i do mean i dont care
catch me cursing and swearing
but its none of your business

i've fallen i know although i dont show it
somehow a re bounce will happen
just like the stock market
but i prefer to stay in the dark

re occurance of the dark is happening
and i choose to stay away to not influence others

as i left the face that im slowing learning to read and understand
the person that im falling in love with more and more each day
the hands that protects me
the shoulders that comforts me

i thank god for you
for each passing hour minute and second that we spend together

=)

happy anniversary!!