Pack pack pack

Im packing up what else is left to head home back to shah alam. its been a great 4 years staying out but its time to head home.

Sherine, dont cry ya =) im going to miss you tons! We’ve grown from small girls with braces till pretty swans today.

 

funny girl. free stuff or discounts gets you super excited. just like this free quaker oats advertisement, saw it then you say. ok. i will order what comes along with this free gift. mana tau, flip it over and  you see this

haha. how to finish the whole bucket of chicken all by yourself?

i’ll miss those girly days we had. the drawing faces. taking photos. going through clothes, looking pretty. =)

Take good good care of yourself ya. i’ll miss cleaning the house, boiling water and laughing and talking about all random things that happened.

Dont' cry when i leave later ya. ok? we’ll meet again somehow.

28 months

How much sweeter can i ask for him to be? I have a soft spot for gentleman. Not those who put on a mask just to pretend to be a gentleman to get a girl’s attention. but those who are true gentleman, who remains a gentleman throughout even when things may not be all high flying.

Thank you chocobee! =)

 

Life

I am reminded once again that life is short. Life is not merely a wake up, sleep, wake up and sleep and that’s it type of vicious cycle. Its contains affections, emotions, memories, impact and love. Learning to let go of a life, and surrendering it to God’s hands is not easy. I wish i could, say, nothing is going to happen. But as a ordinary human being, i do not have such powers, let alone, be assured that things are going to be fine.

Living a life with no regrets is the best we can do. But there always is the reluctance of letting go. If life was worth each penny and cent, spending them on some eternal value good would probably be the best idea. Even so, there will be opportunity cost incurred by letting go of what others that could be bought with that equivalent value of money.

I wish nothing will happen. I pray that nothing will happen. I keep my fingers crossed hoping that nothing will happen. I dread the phone call coming in anytime now.

Color palette

There are days when it just feels so oh-today-is-a-girly-i-want-to-dress-up day.

I am loving my new earrings. Its rectangulish with 2 pieces of mirror across, leaving it to reflect whatever light it comes across. =)

Or there are days when i-just-want-to-try-out-every-single-color-of-every-makeup-brand-in-watsons. which usually ends up with a colorful back of my hand

oh well. Im a girl after all. =)

Nando’s

Somehow, I have never been to nandos before. There was one in atria near my secondary school but it just didnt appeal to me. haha. weird. kenny roasters was a more favored choice.

Until. one day anna asked “HOW CAN YOU NOT TRIED NANDO’S BEFORE? AIYA. I BRING YOU THERE LA OK?” haha. her tone was so funny on the phone la.

and so. we went. =) on a girl’s night out. talking and laughing and manja-ing. awh. i miss anna already.

i didnt know nando’s was this good. seriously. the chicken was tender and juicy. way better than kenny roasters. the fries was solid. good stuff.

haha. i took and the honey flavoured chicken and this sign was stuck on the piece of chicken. boo. but it was good.

See the not so brave sign? boo.

  Anna’s handwriting. we were in Arab’s one day for dinner. i think loren, rowen and dihhaw was there too. To order food there, we were given a menu, a stack of papers and a pencil to write down our orders. So anna started doodling everyone’s name on each piece of paper. see. i still keep a photo of it =) you must love me to bits la =P

verbal confrontations

when responsibilities are not done

when blame is pushed around

when fault is pushed back and forth

when words are of empty content

when actions not taken

i prefer a verbal confrontation.

who cares.

back off

being nice just to be cheesed off back in the face

its time to put a stop to the nonsensical happenings

taking things back into my own control

reluctance in protecting knowing that protection leads to empty promises

let it be come what may

desolation or isolation i take it willingly

A full circle

Left home quiet, return back home quiet.

University life had taken its full circle. From the very beginning where words were few to the exposure and opportunities leading to a more outspoken person. But now as i leave, its been some time since i took a step back and re-constraint my thoughts and words to myself. I figured out its the safest way maybe to not put myself in vulnerable situations.

From being the shadow, to being in the limelight. Likewise, now its back to being the observer. Having the chance to experience the reversal of roles and character has brought me much joy and exposure, seeing different people and different characters. However, i now prefer to just shun away from the crowd and observe. Its more interesting this manner.

Many times i’ve taken on different roles, different sides, different approach towards people. Its been fun portraying different sides of me. But as i leave university and enter back into the world, i stick back to the original quiet me. and im happy with that. (fullstop)

Intrusion

siaomeen feels intruded and stepped all over her head. Boo.

I dont treat you this way. Why on earth is your courtesy lacking? Sigh.

Grace

IF there was one word to describe graduating, it would be grace.

The grace that provided me with a place to study in UTAR, after getting rejected from matrix after spm, teachers training college and university of sydney (family couldnt afford 4 years of expenses in Australia).

The grace that provided me with just enough to get a scholarship for 4 whole years – 1 year foundation and 3 years degree

The grace that saw me through the first 2 months of solitude in college, walking for classes alone, eating alone, studying alone, just because i didnt have any friends and was having a huge culture shock

The grace that brought me out of depression when i was in college as the aftermath of him breaking his promise.

The grace that brought good Christian friends during college who took the extra initiative to ask me out for meals and for fellowship sessions despite the being the quiet person and full of reluctance to join in.

The grace that gave me the courage to open up slowly to a few closer girl friends i made in college.

The grace that sustained my results in college.

The grace that brought me through Shawn’s passing and helped me pick myself up again.

The grace of god that provided me a place to stay in Sg Long despite having to randomly ring on doorbells.

The grace of god that again brought me through exams by exams even though sometimes i was sick, tired, sleepless and panicking like there’s no tomorrow.

The grace of god that gave me the opportunity to explore leadership in various areas. i didnt know that i could have been so influential and impactful, hopefully in a good manner.

The grace of god that provided a way out of all the confrontations happening in the previous place with ex housemates. the level of violence and discrepancy was high but i know we were protected somehow, even with threats of using the hammer to break open the house padlocks, a few police reports made and having so many wires inside a few power points cut off.

The grace of god that taught me how to be still, have a seat, relax and learn once more of the meaning of love. which i still am learning till today. what i thought i knew, what i thought i was practicing, had reach a plateau and was slowly going downhill. it was time to recharge, realign, relearn. and i was given the chance by god and by people around me. a sincere thank you.

The grace of god that placed me in a wonderful family which i know is the best place i can ever be. the closeness, the warmth, the sharing sessions, the daily phone calls. all of these has been a daily encourage to me knowing that they care. and they are praying for me. and they love me.

 

The grace of god that brought dihhaw to me. This same grace that answered my prayers of a life partner ever since secondary school. All criterias, all dreams were met. The accumulated prayers of criterias i wanted was all met perfectly. What more can i ask?

There has just been so much of grace in my life and i thank god for each of them, even for those that have slipped past my memories but i know the hand of god was evident. and i have the assurance that the grace of god will carry me through life because god loves me. =)

Smile or say thank you at least?

I dont mind doing people a favor. But at times when the favor is treated like something-i-should-do-whether-i-like-it-or-not-just-because-you-dont-care makes me sick.

For courtesy sake, at least offer to help? I’m not a maid. (or i should put it as we are not maids). If you do have personal reasons for not helping, fine at least an acknowledgment will do? a simple smile and thank you. What is so tough about that? sigh. pretending that we’re invisible and walking away twice in minutes is not a good idea of showing appreciation.

sigh. What will become of her when i leave? I dont like people stepping on others heads. and i dont like people who can spare time for all other unnecessary matters and yet when it comes to responsibility, pretend like it doesnt exist even after constant patient reminders. Nope, that’s not a good attitude.

sigh. shakes my head. i give up.

Inspiration come to me

Graduating with a Bachelor of Marketing degree after 3 years of slaving of it brought me to a realization that.

I don't know how to apply them in real life.

I’m serious when i say this. The ability to portray the skills as written in theory is the actual test of graduating. Its frustrating to know that I feel so hopeless when i cant seem to recall theories or put them into practice.

Selling pasta so far has been fun. But to earn a decent margin, something better has to take place. be it better methods (more legal ones at least), or better ways to reduce cost (but i dont want to reduce the quality). oh dear. it is a struggle. (notes to self : what? so fast? its only day 3.)

Today’s attempt was spent standing at the stall we opened under the lamp post, looking at the crowd automatically walk to the chee cheong fun lady opposite. somehow their eyes and legs were affixed to only that one destination. Even the burger seller was looking at the crowd queuing up for chee cheong fun.

Dealing with students is not easy. I cant say i understand UTAR students even after studying here for 3 years. The mindset is just so hard to comprehend. its unpredictable. But like what alicia said, we have to create the need for good pasta in order to sell well.

Maybe its just the dejected mode that kicks in once in a while. Or it could just be the plateau in brainstorming that cause that momentary dejection. Anyway, Im not giving up. Venture all the way! Press on and improve! =)

 

long hair = trend?

Rowen dropped by sg long for a meet up. his hair panjang d la. looks different. he was debating with me when i said i like him with short spiky  hair best, smart and proper ma. he insisted saying his iranian friends say he looks good with his hair. and shouldnt cut it.

after a long pestering session, he finally gave in to me taking his photo with him holding his hair up.

“faster la faster la. i dont camwhore one la. faster.”

haha. thank you for holding up your hair for that few seconds and for the effort of coming so far just to catch up with a long time buddy =)

* and i still feel sad and feel like crying. boo. i didnt expect it to be the end. not so soon anyway. =<

her

can i feel for her? I remember crying in the movie “he’s just not that into you” when the husband slept with another woman, and he wasn't quite into his wife from the start. but that’s not how it is with you right? i hope its not. i really do not. but i cant help feeling for her. i know what she is going through, i went through it before. and its not fun. not at all.

until today, the wound still stings. i cant imagine how much more for her. who’s been through so many similar encounters. i dont want her to go through this again. can you hear me?

but i guess its all too late now huh. the last meal. the last few photos. the last kiss which sealed the whole relationship into an envelope never to be opened again.

im sorry for you having to go through this. stay strong. hugs.

Pasta sale!

Yup. we’re taking orders for pasta tonight and tomorrow again! do let us know if you’re interested. drop a message here or at siaomeen@gmail.com or at facebook at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=663757773&ref=name.

 

toodles!

Make full use of the camera

Ever since getting a phone with a camera, the slow reaction side of my brain didnt quite connect the ability to take photos with my phone. till recently, really recent. that’s when the photos started appearing on this blog.

pictures do tell much more than words. and i’ll try to make full use of the bluetooth adapter i bought to transfer photos from my phone to my pc.

so in the meantime, here’s one for you.

I once attempted to have short hair. this was the first try. prior to that, my hair was almost waist length. didnt have enough guts to try the one that i wanted – boyish crop. sometime after this picture, i took another try at having short hair and had a bob cut instead. 

im still itching at the idea of cropping my hair really short. but the concern is. hesitation. oh dear. im starting to like my hair that is growing longer and longer again.

Final paper of my life maybe?

the last paper maybe for my life is going to happen in another 25 hours of so. there are so many memories, emotions and thoughts to pen down but so little time with limited vocabulary to express.

Im so prone to blisters la. this is a picture of one i had recently right on my second toe. the cause of wearing flip flops around the whole day. the wound stings. thank god there’s no wound scar to it =) im back with my brown flip flops now. all is well. the past and the hurt is forgiven. and the intimacy between my feet and the flip flop is back to its original state =)

Pasta Order

taking orders for pasta for the night =)

anyone from sg long interested? (delivery to scot pine, cypress and flora green's guardhouse)

the rest, you can come and collect from scot pine's guard house.

medium - RM 3.50, small - RM 2.50

spaghetti sales attempt #1 (part 3)

 

We met kenneth during the chaos nearby station 2. he biked all the way with the intention to support us. poor guy. came all the way but saw no stall. haha. we walked around sg long to check out the condition of other mamaks and roadside stalls. none were open. even the lorry style hawkers were closed.

we ended up having a good ice blended mango shared among the 4 of us.

The mango ice blended. the stall uncle was so sweet to make one for us even though it was only one for 4 people and it was way past his working hours. by then it was almost midnight, he was suppose to close by 10.

The adventure troup of the night. =)

walking back home feeling satisfied with the cold iced mango, we passed by a dark station 2. the workers were so demotivated by the actions taken by the council. afterall, they had the permit, they had the passport and they abided by the rules. there was no absolute reason for them to be disturbed but yet the drama happened. malaysia boleh anyone?

Half made roti at station 2 before the raid. its of no use now.

fret not all you food lovers. pasta and station 2 will be up and opening again today!! *keeping fingers crossed.

tentative time for pasta is from 6.30 onwards. see you there!

spaghetti sales attempt #1 (part 2)

Sherine noticed the dvd seller keeping his stuff at super uber speed. and we panicked. that’s not a good sign huh. haha. i threw what i could into the plastic bag i had. sherine funny la. she panicked till dont know how to keep. she had alicia’s backpack with her but didnt think of putting things in. haha. we were just throwing what we could and trying to carry all of them with the 4 hands that we had.

run la. run. the dvd seller ran. we ran too. but the pot was hot and there was the table. in the end we opened the table, put everything above it and carry the table back. haha.

oh dear.

we reached home at 9. all laughing and sweating, almost feeling exhausted from the drama. the common decision we had was to pause and go out again at 1130 just like announced earlier. reasoning being. its a little too late for the municipal to sweep our stall and its supper time for the peeps.

we took our break. still had on and off giggles of the near getting caught experience we had. writing about it now still give me the adrenaline pump.

just at 11.20 when we were about to step out from the door. a sudden impulse pushed me to check my facebook for one last time in case there was an additional order that i missed. and i saw “oh no, station 2 kena sapu”. dang. that’s not good news for us.

we took a walk downstairs without all our pots and bags just to check out the situation. not good. not good. there was a crowd of bystanders all around station 2. students sitting on almost every table. later i found out it was a form of support because the officers were not allowed to confiscate tables and chairs with customers on it. the most outstanding sight was the number of vans with full load officers. around 5 to 6 of them. with one police car. one lorry for carting away their belongings i think. and one tow truck. tell me what is a tow truck doing there at this time of the night?

spaghetti sales attempt #1 (part 1)

so we did try to put up the stall selling pasta just opposite 7-eleven right outside cypress and scot pine condo.

the afternoon was full of exciting and fun havoc in the kitchen. sherine was peeling potatoes and warming up stuff. alicia was going in and out the kitchen after nicely mincing the whole tupperware full of chicken. while i was happily looking out for the remaining task to do.

later in the evening, both alicia and sherine went to get more supplies for the next batch of sauce. and they went downstairs with one huge backpack, one foldable table and one pot of sauce. comical sight to behold. the kitchen at home was not less of any chaos. this time round, yunnyuan and myself were busy prancing around the kitchen, chopping and boiling and washing up all at the same time.

alicia calls

no more pasta! get more down! fast! finishing already!

haha. that calls for a mad dash to the grocery shop to grab a few more packets of pasta. run back home. boil them on full blast fire. mind goes ‘faster la, faster cook. faster. faster.’

* we’ll be back there again tonight around 11.30. All you hungry folks looking for supper. come and drop by ya =)

tomato based pasta. Medium – RM 3.50, Small – RM 2.50

matters of the heart. once decided to swap with a person, is best kept secured with constant assurance.

Economic Recession Survival Plan (ERSP)

1. spend less
2. sell spaghetti

• this is for real. me and housemate alicia actually cooked up a whole pot of spaghetti with mince chicken. fresh tomatoes. mushroom topping. we even drew the price list already. all set to carry the stuff down. open a table under the road light just outside cypress, opposite station 1. then we noticed something amiss. "pi gu yang" just got summoned yesterday. maybe we should play safe.
  
• Anyway. we'll be at the morning market tomorrow morning. Spaghetti sauce is being stewed at the moment to get an even richer taste. Its all cooked with love ya. =)
  
• Price goes at Medium size - RM 3.50. small RM 2.50.
  

till then. wish me all the best in my ERSP.

rainbow

the sight after a slight heavy downpour.
a rainbow as a sign of covenant
also the name of our cg. (er. im not sure if its confirmed =P sounded too much like chai hong's name)

i need to push myself more to study. tomorrow's paper is in the morning.

and oh. water rationing starts from 5 pm today till 9 am tomorrow morning. i remember when i was younger, there was a major water cut. we didnt prepare enough water. my parents actually asked for a favor from the school's canteen to allow us kids to take a bucket of water so that we would have enough to shower. haha.

it suddenly hit me that. its my last 2 papers. tuesday and friday then im done. the long awaited moment. even the boyfriend is excited. more than excited. graduating was a long time ago only spoken of moment. everytime we talk about graduating, it seemed ages away. something that can only be imagined, dreamed about.

But now, im just days away from that moment. wow. the feeling is indescribable.

a jab
a pang
a stitch
a cut

i hear you
it worries me
i feel you
it concerns me

lose it
work it
tightened it
firm it

Ways to make single eyelid eyes bigger

  

Single eyelid girls always have more concern with how to draw their eyes. Rather known as ‘mata sepet’. Just like for myself, it took practice and hours of trial and error to know what looks best for my eyes.

Well, dont fret, if you dont like your eyes. there are a few methods to make them look outstanding.

1. Wear something on them so that people would notice the accessory more than the eyes.

2.  get them drawn so that. they look noticeably larger than the original size. 

sherine looking gorgeous with make up on. killer eyes la. =P i like i like. oh ya. she’s getting a new pair of specs too. the change of appearance as she graduates! watch out for her ya! she’s looking pretty =)

Oh dear. and i was suppose to be studying the morning way. but got so carried away with drawing her eyes. haha. time to buck up. buck up. back to books. attempts to anyway.

* its a feeling very girly day.

this is what exams does to people like me.
exploding pimples.
tiny eyes.
lethargic whole day long.
stress level increase.
words spoken decreased.

oh well. last exams d. push through siaomeen!

dragging my fingers to type out the remaining notes for tmr's paper. eh. its no longer tomorrow. its some time later today. brain is struggling to absorb. but mind says. push through siaomeen. push through. another 12 hours or so to go. plan is to just understand the concept. and go and. er. write what i understand. afterall. its an application paper. nothing is wrong. and at the same time, nothing much is. right? oh dear.


my comfort food is. finished. i need more comfort food. been spending so much on food till. i think i need to start to fasten my belt to survive this month. boo. the vigorous attempts to try swimming to loose weight has only worked as a counter balance to the fats i've gained. when will i ever get to see the lean tummy again?

anyway. its Strategic Marketing Planning and Control tomorrow. tough one. but im sure god will provide. just like how he always does =)

i still am craving for mint chocolate chip flavoured ice cream.

shifted to www.cravingsatisfaction.blogspot.com